What are the 3 best things you can do for your relationship? Oprah’s “O” magazine asked the top 3 relationship experts for their best piece of marriage advice. And here they are: Number one comes from psychologist Harville Hendrix, author of “Getting the Love You Want”. He says – stop all the shame, blame and criticism! Instead, ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner. This goes double for wives! Men need to feel competent.

They react better when you tell them what you do like, which behaviors make you happy. So instead of grabbing the sponge and telling your husband he doesn’t know how to wash the dishes, instead, say ‘thank you for pitching in!’ When men get acknowledged for things, they’ll keep doing them. The second piece of marriage advice comes from Dr. Mira Kirshenbaum, author of “The Weekend Marriage”

She says, when your relationship starts to break down, you need triple A – apology, affection, and a promise of action. Say you’re sorry for what you’ve done to disappoint your partner. Immediately offer a hug, a kiss, a meaningful gesture of warmth. Then pledge to do something that matters to your partner. The whole thing will take 2 minutes, but in that time you’ve healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for the future.

A long weekend away would be ideal, but even a few hours away from work, the kids, the cell phone, and life’s responsibilities helps. Reconnect with each other by remembering the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Do the things that you used to do – talk over dinner, walk with your arms around one another. When you get home, you’ll find ‘your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks’ – those are Dr. Ruth’s words.